This month’s post features the sacred story of Dominique – a young woman who participated in my dissertation study, which explored the role of spirituality in the school experiences of Black, high school girls. At the time of the study, Dominique was a 16-year-old junior living in southern California; of course, her name has been changed to protect her privacy.

Dominique’s sacred story, like many other narratives shared by young women around the intersections of spirituality and everyday life, demonstrates the necessity of the female adolescent voice in understanding the fullness of God and His relevance for today’s generation. However, all too often we disregard this group’s theological understandings, particularly those that may not meld with our time-honored doctrines, and relegate their knowledge and bodies to the margins of our faith communities. We discourage authentic dialogue about their conceptualizations and questions about God, opting instead to silence these critical conversations and judge their spiritual walks according to outward appearances and our observations of their learned, yet ofttimes shallow, performances of religious tradition.  We fail to see the value in their journeys – journeys that yield a unique theological standpoint by which we, as adults, may grow in our own faith.

What can we learn about God from the stories of our youth, and specifically, our young women? How can we provide space for dialogue where we authentically share, learn and grow together in our spiritual understandings?  In what ways can we position youth as significant spiritual contributors and leaders within our homes and faith communities? These are some of the conversations that Hello, God hopes to facilitate . And, I start the dialogue with the sacred story of Dominique.

Dominique’s Sacred Story, In Her Own Words

Until I was 7, I lived with my grandparents. And, it was a spiritual household – moreso, my grandmother than my grandfather. But, every Sunday we went to church. And, my grandmother was the secretary of the church, so anything dealing with the church, she was there, which meant I was there. And, at a young age, I was really involved in it, more than my siblings and my cousins were.

My grandparents instilled in me prayer, I can tell you that. Before every meal, I prayed. It didn’t matter where we were at – even if we were just eating hot dogs. ‘Say your blessing, say your blessing, say your blessing.’ And before I went to sleep, I would pray The Lord’s Prayer.

Drug Dealing and Tooth Fairies

After I left my grandma, I lived with my mom and dad. At my parents, I don’t know, it was ok. I preferred being at my grandparents’ than there. My parents’ house was cool. It was a different lifestyle. Like, my mom’s and dad’s occupations – like, my dad was a drug dealer, which was fine. He made his money. He supported us. He was a good dad, I must say that. He was a good dad. He made sure nobody bothered us ever. And, my  mom – she was, like, a bartender at a strip club. So, she was maintaining it. She had an actual job. And, he just kinda did his drug dealing from time to time. He sold drugs out of the house.

There were times where I would be stressed when I was younger because I grew up on the streets with my mom and dad. Like, I would pray. I would talk with my grandma. She would pray with me. We would pray on the phone. And, you know, I never really thought prayer worked. I just thought it was all, like, a tooth fairy thing. Like, I know that there’s a God, but I also know there’s a tooth fairy. So, I thought, maybe God is similar to a tooth fairy. That’s what I thought adults believed – that God was their tooth fairy. Of course, I believed in Him. My spirit told me, like, it’s gotta be right. But, I was like, I don’t believe this God works. You just, like, pray to a genie, and it just comes true? My spirituality was there. I wasn’t really mature about it, but it was there. I would listen to God. I would pray. I would pray although I didn’t know how to. But, they told me that even if you don’t know what to say, He knows what going on, so He’ll hear me. So, I believed in that.

Dominique’s First Conversation with God

My most challenging experience was when we became homeless. Well, not homeless, but we were living in women’s shelters. And, it got to a point where we had to go, like, downtown LA, like skid row. And, I – like, before this happened, I remember going on a trip down there to see if it was for real. Like, this is a for real homeless row. I didn’t want my mom there, I didn’t want my sister there, I didn’t want to be there at all. But, [my mom was like],’we have to go there. And, I was like, ‘No we don’t have to go there, we have family’. And, she was like, ‘But I don’t want to intrude on them’. And, eventually, we did have to go there. My mom went down there twice – she and my little sister who was just born. She was like a year old. And, I went.

And, at that time, I learned to be really, really strong. And, I took adult things in the way that my mom showed me – stuff that I shouldn’t have to worry about, I worried about like crazy. And, that was my first time, like, really talking to God. I remember talking to God, trying to figure out what was going on. And, every temptation would come over me. I was rebellious at that age. Me and my dad wasn’t conversating at all. I was introduced to marijuana then. I was really trying anything that you could possibly think of at that age. And, there was a time when I was like, ‘Let me kill myself, dear Lord.’ And, it felt like all types of ghosts and evil spirits were in those places.

Putting it All Together

During the younger half of my life, I witnessed struggle, and I’ve also witnessed prosperity. And, I saw that there was nothing that people didn’t eventually come out of. So, I knew there was always an ending to whatever struggle I went through. Like, I knew that I would eventually prosper through whatever struggle I was going through. Then, when I got around 12 or 13 I started putting the pieces together with my spirituality. And, I was just like, you have to go through something to get to where you want to be. And, I would take the pieces from church, and I would use what was said to me. I used certain scriptures and put it towards what I was going through.

If I feel myself unable to handle certain things, then I pray. Like, it takes a lot to get me discouraged. But, once I’m discouraged and at my lowest point, the only way I can get back up there is through prayer or, like, connecting with Him spiritually. So, like, when I’m praying, I feel like that’s my outlet to feel better about situations. It’s like, ‘Ok, Dominique, you can do it.’ Cause, when I pray, I feel Him speaking to me. Or, I look at it like this. It’s like I have two sides of me. I have the powerful side of me and the weak side of me. And, when I pray, the weak side of me is praying. And I hear God, or the powerful side of me, saying, ‘Dominique, you can do this. You can push through. Remember scriptures. Remember this. Remember that. All the things you’ve went through. You push through!’ And, that’s just prayer. That’s just me praying. That’s just me believing in me – believing in what I can do, believing in what God can do.*

Now, I want to hear from you.  What might Dominique’s story, and those of other youth, tell us about God’s relevance in their lives? As a young person, what are some things that you wish people knew about your relationship with or understanding of God?  How might we begin to facilitate more authentic conversations with this group?